Jason Mraz and Jiminey Crickett

I spent my whole childhood always admiring but never truly motivated by the amazing people I met or heard about in the world. I always thought it was weird to not have anyone that I could look at and say, "I wanna do all the things they do!" and it got even stranger when I moved to NYC. All the kids at my school had their idols who gave them something to aspire to. Mind you I went to a theater school so most of those idols were Madonna, Cher, Beyonce, Britney, and Madonna. Yes I know I wrote Madonna twice and I meant it! Worse than everyone else having very clear and specific aspirations, whenever a teacher gave us advice on staying motivated and making our mark they would always say "Look at your own role models in this industry, find out what they did, then do it."

Now I am grateful to have spent my life without idolizing a person so much that I never think for myself or live my own life. But thats not what a role model is to most sane people. See to the kids I went to school with or the successful people I meet role models give you that extra push to do what you feel you were meant to do. They show us it can be done and they blaze a path to get us just far enough down the road to blaze our own. Well in my adult life I found that in someone.  That person is Jason Mraz!  I know you are not all that surprised at this being that I put his name in the title but it was a shock to me. I grew up in an all black neighborhood on the south side of Chicago. My family celebrated Kwaanza and sent my cousins and I to African American Summer Learning Camp where we learned African and African American history as well as african dance and swahili. We also had to call our camp counselors by the titles Baba (for male elders) and Mama (for female elders). I have been reading Lorraine Hansberry and Maya Angelou since I was 7 years old, and where do I find my deepest inspiration in art and activism? A white guy with a guitar. So wrong yet so right.

I have listened to Jason Mraz  for years but in the last few I started paying closer attention to who he is as an artist and I like it. No, I love it! He is a clever lyricist, who blends all the styles he loves into his own unique style, including rap which I would not recommend to most white guys who are not Eminem. Yet he boldly creates his own flow and always promotes love and his music is soul affirming and funny at the same time. He also is involved in some amazing eco-projects including but not limited to a fair trade/ organic t-shirt company and his own solar powered avocado farm. He is a human rights activist and more than all that he talks about his failures just as much as his victories. Posting pictures of himself falling of stage, blogging about his failures as a friend, his break ups and make ups and more. Now that is the end of the official Jason Mraz commercial.

One night I had a dream (no not that kind of dream) that I was sitting in a seat thinking horrible thought about my life and art.  Sitting right behind me was Jason Mraz. Everytime I had myself convinced I was worthless and could never reach my dreams, he would whisper that I could all the loving thought that I know to be true but never say out loud he said them to me until his voice became my own. This was not some romantic dream as a matter of fact I am not attracted to Mr. Mraz in that way at all (no offense Jason) in my dream he just felt like a friend I could trust to tell the truth. I felt like Pinnoccio spouting lies about myself and Jason was my Jiminey Crickett, trying his best to keep me out of trouble. Since it was my dream it WAS my voice speaking loving thoughts. And that is the point of me writing this semi stalker-ish blog. It is not about Jason Mraz. It is bigger than him. It is bigger than any role model anywhere. Marianne Williamson wrote, "And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." That is Jason Mraz has done for me. 


By simply being who he is he has somehow given me permission to be who I am. I never realized that though I loved being unique in my personal life I had begun to see it as a liability in my career and an entertainer. Who would sign a soul/pop/folk singing black girl. Who would put the 5'9" giant girl with a fro on Broadway.  What vegan animal activist teaches sunday school? My voice is not big enough for a black girl. My notes don't go as high as most of the great singers I know of. But I have something to give as an artist and performer. Now more than ever I believe I can do it! I can't explain it fully but maybe I am not meant to. I wrote in my last post about the dream being bigger than us. About our responsibility to keep pursuing it. I meant every word. So my thanks to Jason, and every person who determines to live & love in their unique and special way. You truly are our role models liberating those of us in the shackles of fear and doubt.






P.S. For my birthday I stood in line at Carnagie Hall and spent my birthday money on 5th row tickets to what will be my first Jason Mraz concert. "How did you get to Carnagie Hall?" one might ask. Well the answer is "Practice, practice, practice!" (Sorry I couldn't resist!)


God Bless and Namaste Y'all!

Free Your Mind

So you wanna be free? So do I. I am stepping out into pursuing my dreams as a singer more and more these days. I am finding myself blocked at every turn, but not from the places you would think. Not from the external, not from friends, family, or fellow artists. All my road blocks exist in my mind. Have you ever wanted something so bad it paralyzes you? You just don't know how to begin, or how to start again. Feeling like you have to catch up?

Well I woke up yesterday morning with the words "Unlock your mind. Liberate your dreams." searing in my mind. The problem is that what I want to do is something I have not seen done before. This has everything with building my faith but it is hard to ignore one's own thoughts. In yoga today my teacher said "Most people don't realize that the body opens from top to bottom and bottom to top. So if you want to open your hips you have to open your ankles first. If you want to open your heart you have to open your mind."

The mind is so powerful. We need it to survive, but it has one main service/function and that is to keep us alive.  It is all logic never innovation. Always ice cream never sundaes. That is where we need faith, to see beyond our seeming.  To see one star in the sky and believe that there are more. To see a wall and know that you will get to the other side. I met a really successful composer the other week who compared getting into the industry to banging your head against a wall over and over and over and over again. He said you will definitely get a headache but eventually the wall will start to crack.  Maybe it has to be that way. We can not keep our true selves locked up in our hearts and if we cannot unlock our mind then maybe we do need to crack it open.

 I truly believe that if we do not believe that we can and will bring our dreams to fruition we are killing the world one dream at a time. The world needs us and our dreams. We were created by a loving God with a purpose unique to us and if we don't live that dream who will? It is selfish and prideful to hold back because we fear it might be too hard or complicated.

The Dream Is Mightier Than The Vessel.

And here is a little song to sing when you feel you mind closing . . .

Willfulness Revealed

So last week I got up with one thing on my mind. A strawberry/blueberry smoothie with granola. A very tree hugging breakfast, but a delicious one all the same. I said my morning prayer in a hurry to get out of bed and eat. Quickly I spoke the words " God show me how to serve you and your children today" however I found I got an immediate response. "Fast". Now this is not what a girl who loves to eat ever wants to hear. More than that I was already making breakfast in my head so this challenge stung even more. I started to bargain with God to ease the pain of this request. Maybe I could start after breakfast, or just fast certain foods like desserts. None of this eased the conviction in my heart.

Finally I agreed to fast all food and possibly water till . . . . . . . sundown? NO. There was something too simple about that request. God knew I could last that long, and he did not want the cheap and easy sacrifice. He wanted all of my attention not just a countdown to sundown. I went online and looked up Christian fasting hoping to find an escape or a lighter sentence instead I came across the description of a 3 day absolute fast. No food. No water. Just God. My mind went into a frenzy. "Can people even last that long without water? I work with kids how could I stay energized. What if there is a big event and I don't eat? Won't that be rude?" After arguing and huffing and puffing about how crazy it all was I spoke the words of agreement with myself and sent a text to 3 good supportive friends for accountability sake and for prayer and set out on my psychotic task.

Day 1 was full of anger and bargaining. Every bit of food that passed me was the enemy. I literally had to say out loud to a couple of Starbucks cups " I worship God, not you". I made a playlist full of worship songs and once the anger subsided I began to realize that I lacked a hunger for God. I craved all of this STUFF more than I craved Him. I was beginning to get the picture.

Day 2 was a little better. My cravings had passed but I was definitely hungry. I was beginning to get upset that I thought of food and drink more than God. That without food and drink I felt lost, upset, desperate. But if I went a day or 2 without prayer or a word from God I did just fine. I began to pray for God to change my heart. I did not want to leave this fast the same person.

Day 3 it was very clear that this fast was not about food. God wanted my attention as well as my affection. I was full of affection for Him but I often give my attention to everything else. At about 2pm I felt so weak my knees buckled. I allowed my body to bring me to my knees. I was playing Hillsongs All I Need is You  it contains a lyric you hold the universe. I was confronted with the image of a shining being surrounded by angels who cover their faces at this being beauty and sing and shout out "Holy, holy, holy. Lord God all mighty. Creator of heaven and earth. Creator of the Universe"  Now I don't know if you are like me and obsessed  with the discovery channel but the Universe as far as we know is ever expanding, super complex and super connected. Just go to your local planetarium or google dark matter and then read Genisis 1:1-3 and tell me you are not amazed. So anyway I found myself on my knees (literally floored) in a corner at 2pm on day 3 sobbing at the awesomeness of God. Breathless at the complexity of His simplicity.  After I had seen God in this refreshing way. I got up and heard in my heart. "The fast is over. The message has been received."
Want to know what I said? You are gonna love this one. I said " No I am going to stick it out till day 3 is done" Can you believe I was trying to outlast God?!? I think God gave me the "Oh no you didn't!" face. Upon realizing my mistake I grabbed the closest bit of vegan food a ate.

After all that I realized how selfish I could be when it came to putting my will before everything. I saw how many opportunities for kindness I missed everyday because I was to focused on staying comfy. Now I am not trying to make people feel like they are evil, but maybe even the nicest of us are not as mindful, and willing to give as we could be.

 My lesson has only just begun and though I pray that I don't feel that call for extreme fasting anytime soon, I do pray that I continue to grow in awe of God.

Namaste and God Bless Y'all!

The Gospel of Mumford and Sons

So I just wanted to share some of the things this journey has brought me. In the search for juicy fruit I have found that God happily speaks through anything and anyone. For me it has been Mumford and Sons. They are a band I would suggest to anyone without hesitation. They are not a christian band in anyway. They do use some christian references but funny enough the song I am going to refer to in this post has almost none of those.

Lately I have been asking myself if I really love God or the idea of being randomly and ridiculously blessed.  I remember being 3 or 4 and reading about Jesus and the "SUPER HERO" alarm going off in my head. I loved Him instantly. He was my first crush in a way. I was obsessed with bible stories. As life went on my reading the Bible became less about hearing about my super hero friend, but about what I needed to do to get blessed.  I don't think I fell out of love but after 20 plus years of loving God there are some things that go stale.

Even my quest for the characteristics of the fruits of the spirit was missing a key element. That missing component was a desire to get closer to God through it. I wanted my life and the lives of those around me to benefit from this work. But what about God? I can't imagine forming an entire universe and having that very creation only want more of your stuff and none of you.

This is the point where you get to listen to a song! Aren't you so excited?  I know I am!!!!! As you listen to the amazing sounds of Mumford & Sons also ponder these words from Jeremiah 2. Its a bit long but more than worth the read if you ever wonder how God feels when we become more concerned with what we can get from Him rather than being in love with Him simply because He loves us.

Scripture First:

Jeremiah 2

^1-3 God's Message came to me. It went like this: "Get out in the streets and call to Jerusalem, 
   'God's Message!
I remember your youthful loyalty, 
   our love as newlyweds.
You stayed with me through the wilderness years, 
   stuck with me through all the hard places.
Israel was God's holy choice, 
   the pick of the crop.
Anyone who laid a hand on her 
   would soon wish he hadn't!'" 
         God's Decree.

^4-6Hear God's Message, House of Jacob!
   Yes, you—House of Israel!
God's Message: "What did your ancestors find fault with in me
   that they drifted so far from me,
Took up with Sir Windbag
   and turned into windbags themselves?

   It never occurred to them to say, 'Where's God,
   the God who got us out of Egypt,
Who took care of us through thick and thin, those rough-and-tumble
   wilderness years of parched deserts and death valleys,
A land that no one who enters comes out of,
   a cruel, inhospitable land?'

^7-8"I brought you to a garden land
   where you could eat lush fruit.
But you barged in and polluted my land,
   trashed and defiled my dear land.
The priests never thought to ask, 'Where's God?'
   The religion experts knew nothing of me.
The rulers defied me.
   The prophets preached god Baal
And chased empty god-dreams and silly god-schemes.

^9-11"Because of all this, I'm bringing charges against you"
         —God's Decree—
   "charging you and your children and your grandchildren.
Look around. Have you ever seen anything quite like this?
   Sail to the western islands and look.
Travel to the Kedar wilderness and look.
   Look closely. Has this ever happened before,
That a nation has traded in its gods
   for gods that aren't even close to gods?
But my people have traded my Glory
   for empty god-dreams and silly god-schemes

Now listen to this song of heartbreak and I dare you to tell me that you don't understand where God is coming from. We have all been there, but God has been heartbroken and abandoned a billion times over. Yet God never gives up on us.

Namaste and Love God (with all your heart, mind, and soul) as God loves you!

This Moment is Fleeting. A Tribute to Danny Boy.

I have lived on the same block for almost 5 years. In that time my roomies and I all came to know a man we began to refer to a "The Pirate" a free spirited 60 year old Irish man the folks on the block called Danny Boy. He was vibrant and full of life but struggled with substance abuse. Danny Boy was the kind of guy who was always chatting with anyone who would listen. Most of my conversations with him involved his concern for my safety walking home from the subway at night and telling the history of the families and buildings on the block. Danny was not PC and said lots of ridiculous and funny things.  Lots of people on the block thought of him as the lovable and somewhat annoying neighborhood veteran.

On the morning of Memorial Day my roomies and I all headed out to the grocery store to stock up on vegan goodies for this BBQ we were going to. The pirate seemed annoyed at our rush and in a teasing voice said "Well hello ladies!" We all quickly said hi and went our merry way. We got home that night at about 10:30pm to find that a few hours earlier the Pirate had been playing with the kids on the block splashing in the fire hydrant, he went to his mother's apartment to change his clothes but she was out and had locked him out, because of his substance abuse I guess this was routine. He went to climb the fire escape to get in to his room and get clothes but because he was wet slipped and fell to the basement level. His story on this earth ends there.

Danny Boy is mourned by all of us on this block. And my lesson, the moment is fleeting. One minute you are here but the next moment provides no guarantees. The goodness in Danny Boys story is that whatever his struggles he must have had a strong heart to give love to everyone and serve people in his own way. Nothing extinguished his love. I can't help but think about what he would have been capable of if he had truly conquered his addictions.

As for those of us who manage to finish this day with breath still in our bodies, how will we treat the moments we have? Even when life is hard can we be faithful? When people are mean can we hold on to our goodness?  When all you are used to is the next minute arriving without fail it takes true zealousness for life (not fear of death) to treat each moment as if it were the last note of an epic love song. And remember that by fanning the flame of the gifts of the spirit in us we are silently giving permission to those around us to do the same. That's what Danny Boys life did for me and I am grateful I did not completely miss the moment and I hope to be more and more present in the ones I am given however many that may be.

Namaste and God Bless Y'all.

"I'll let you go . . . but let me tell you something . . ."  The Pirate (Danny Boy)

Judgement Day Special

So according to a religious group I won't bother to name today is the end of the world. What am I doing to prepare for this tremendous occasion? My laundry of course (staying faithful to my task).  After laundry I tried to rush and get to yoga but realized I only had 5 minutes to get 20 blocks so I came home and felt like sharing some loving thoughts with anyone who reads this.

I look out at all these hate spouting "Christians" and shake my head. I also find more and more people who hate all religion and any one who would be "foolish enough" to believe in an invisible Creator or afterlife. I wonder what satisfaction of fulfillment they could possibly get from determining to claw at others. I am not talking about church going Christians or devout Atheist. I am talking about people who fill their lives with bitterness, fear, and worry and focus on spreading it. Today and everyday let us share love and peace. One thing Jesus said that always gets to me is "I leave you peace, my peace I give you. I do not give as the world gives so do not worry (let your hearts be troubled) and do not be afraid" With true love from God inside of me that is the kind of peace I want to share.

I have had a quote on my wall from W.B. Yeats' The Second Coming since I was in college:
The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity.
It is so true that the worst kind of people tend to make some of the biggest impacts on the world. Since the day I read that line (actually I think I heard it first) I made up in my mind that I wanted to be the best, and full of passion. I know many good people who have achieved that very goal and so while scam artists and false prophets reach great heights let those of us committed to being the best versions of ourselves and making the world better find an even deeper conviction within ourselves to make our mark on this world undeniable.

Namaste Y'all and God Bless!

Staying faithful, and staying out past midnight on a friday night.

So this faithfulness work really comes back to bite you in the bootay. So far keeping my room clean has been a slow process. I managed to clean a huge chunk of my room over the past weekend. This week however, I have only managed to keep more mess from building up. I have not cleaned out anymore things. Partially from lack of time but also because it is not habit to "clean as I go" I am a "I'll get to that later" kinda girl. When I was a kid my mother stopped cleaning my room to force me to clean it myself. She figured I would get sick of the mess, clean it and keep it clean. That was not the case. To her disgust I had no problem going to bed under piles of clothes on my bed and letting junk accumulate in the corners of my room and eventually cover the floor. It was only losing homework or some significant disaster that would cause me to half clean my room until it was significantly cleaner than before. Even then it never stayed that way for more than a day or two.

Laziness is my biggest fault in life. That is not easy for me to admit. I work hard at my day job and spend a great deal of time doing good things. But honestly that is because I am accountable to other people. If I let my boss down I don't get paid, if I don't do what I should at church I answer to God, if I don't show up for my friends then I am a sucky friend. But when it comes to stuff that affects me more than anyone else I always get lazy. Now the real work comes from asking myself why I do this. I don't consider myself someone who does not think good things about themselves. I really think I am great but maybe I don't think highly of my ability to evolve. I think some time in my life there were people and circumstances who convinced me that I was not capable of growing, changing and reaping the benefits of that work. I always manage to convince myself that the result of any work for my own sake will only leave me drained. That I will not gain anything from improving things in my life because it will never actually improve my life.

Now I have my theories on the people and places that influenced my way of thinking, but I will name no names. The truth is it's now my responsibility to change the way I think.  I am slowly changing the way I talk about my self from things like " I am not a business woman" to " I am really learning and growing as a business woman". I am learning the key is not faithfulness to the task but to myself!

On that note this friday some very talented friends were performing in the city and I went to see them. They started the first set around 11pm and by midnight I was spent!! Anyone who knows me knows my brain shuts down around 11pm when I am out of my apartment. I can stay up all night when I am at home but when I am out it is like torture keeping my eyes open.  I was heading out after the 1st set around 12:30am when one of my friends mentioned if I stayed she would pull me up to sing (this would be awesome considering I am trying to book a gig at this place myself) and I should make the sacrifice to stay later. I made excuses at first, and the truth is I hate when people guilt you about what you are not doing.  But this time I stayed, and the truth is I blanked on songs that fit into their set. I am used to being rehearsed and was so afraid of getting up there and singing a song I was not too sure of. I told her I couldn't think of anything (not an excuse but the truth) because they had sung most of the songs I really knew in the first set. Sounds a bit like a failure, and maybe in some ways it was but the truth is had I not stayed I would have never discovered some things I need to work on. And like cleaning my room it is not about what I did not do on stage but my faith in myself to be more prepared next time around. It all comes back to love, and my task is to love myself enough to change. Jay Z has a lyric that stabs me a little every time I hear it, "Do you have the power to get out from up under YOU?"

Lesson : Love + Me = Faithfulness

Wash, rinse, repeat mantra.

So my mantra for daunting tasks has been pushing me to take better care of myself and my home even though sometimes its hard. First step laundry. So I know I should not share this but in the spirit of transparency and refusing to be ashamed of where you are on your journey I will admit, I have not done a real load of laundry in 3 months at least. My room is a giant pile of dirty clothes, unopened mail, and hand washed clothing. In my defense I own a massive amount of shirts so I have just been interchanging them with hand washed bottoms. Were it not for these things I would probably have a serene and peaceful room. So this task I have taken on with a determination to be my own biggest cheerleader and inspiration. I am so determined in fact that I took a load of laundry to work with me because I was running out of time but I was determined to do a load yesterday.

Enter the mantra of this faze of my juicy fruit experiment/experience: "The task is daunting but I am determined!"
Faithfulness is a fruit of the spirit and I believe truly born from a place of love that I must be a faithful steward of the room I have been blessed to have.

I know some people who have cramped rooms or houses full of possessions and often complain about not having enough room. The problem is that this is not the real problem. When they do get more space they fill it up with more stuff and have the same cramped spaces. So in the spirit of being the change you want to see in the world, I am going to create the room I want to have. I love the color of my walls and my furniture is fine. Target purchased but sturdy and fits in well. All I need to do is clear my space and my head of everything that is keeping me from taking care of my space.

I start with action. Cleaning and clearing.
Next I must check in with myself and ask why do I let the physical things in my life get so out of control.  The truth is that I over think these tasks. I convince myself that it going to be so tiring that I am exhausted before I begin.  That is why I am starting with action. I am challenging my self to make room maintenance a habit, this way I will stop thinking so much. I will make a list of things I must do everyday for the next month and like Nike has encouraged us for years "Just Do It".

I have seen this work. I did a 30 day Bikram Yoga challenge. For those who don't know Bikram Yoga is yoga in a 100 - 115 degree room. It is 90 minutes 26 postures long. In repeating this class for 30 day I found that the class that seemed to take FOREEEEEVEEER, seemed to go by quickly. I ended up going for 51 consecutive days. It did not get easier but I got out of my head and got through it. So here is my new challenge.

1. Make my bed every morning before leaving my home
2. No loose clothing (all clothes put away)
3. File mail the day it is received
4. For every new purchase get rid of something no longer in use
5. Get rid of all clothes I have not worn in the last year

Singles Ministries and Other Daunting Tasks!

So I am not at all a fan of singles mixers, websites, and particularly singles ministries. My church has recently started one and it was my intention to avoid it at all cost. I avoided the planning meeting, I managed to avoid announcements about meetings and even the people on the planning committee. So imagine my dismay when I was asked by the Pastor's wife to sing at the kick off event.

I wanted to scream, " I am not that desperate for single friends. I do pretty well on my own. I am not really interested in dating any man at this church, they are all much older than me and I have lots of lone ranging to do in my life." But in the spirit of love and faithfulness to being of service to my church I agreed. So how did it go?

Well I was indeed the youngest person in the room. After I sang a good friend of mine sang and shared her story on her singleness, marriage, and pending divorce. (Her story deserves its own post, so more later) I felt like I could stand it a little longer so I stayed and we were split into groups to discuss how to make this ministry real. I was in the Community Service group ( I think God knew that was the only way I could survive the rest of the event) Anyone who knows me knows I believe in service and community. So my group came up with ideas and I realized as long as I avoided the single talk I could actually enjoy myself.

Now I know that a lot of my avoidance of single talk is defensiveness because in the depths of my heart I want to share my life with someone and fear I will never find him. I am a 27 year old vegan yogi christian activist. That is a very specific order and the more I walk with God the more unique I become, also the further away from other christians I feel. But I know that God has someone for me, the same way I know that God has a successful career for me. I just have to make sure I don't play it safe. Taking risks and moving forward in spite of yesterdays nonsense is the only way to get there. I have to be FAITHFUL to this journey I am on.

My mantra: The task is daunting but I am determined!

I wanna be juicy . . . spiritually!

So for those who may be wondering why they are reading a blog with a title that seems a little like product placement, don't worry. No gum needs to be purchased to enjoy this content.

My name is Dominique Elise, and I am a singer, songwriter, youth leader, and single lady (put ya hand up!). I love God, people, animals, and nature, but I find that sometimes I struggle with exemplifying the most basic Christian attributes. The fruits of the spirit are : love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. However as a city girl it is hard to be patient with the drunk girl who keeps bumping you at the concert. And Lord knows it is super difficult to be a faithful worker when your job sucks. And who can find joy when you can't even find an affordable apartment? So what's a girl to do? Blog.


The goal here is to grow some juicy spiritual fruit. I want to be the kind of person people a glad to see walking in the room. I am not in a search for popularity but rather singularity. Standing out from the inside out. There is a person I am supposed to be and right now I don't exactly feel like I am quite where I need to be.  I've got to do what is necessary to keep me on my path to the person I know I am supposed to be. It all starts here, after all, I have to be the change. Readers of this blog are welcome to follow along and experiment in their own lives. As I dissect this Galatians 5:22 -23, and pull inspiration from many sources, I will give my self a weekly challenge and blog the results. Well, here goes!